How to Write Your Wedding Vows (Even If You Have No Idea Where to Start)

If you’re staring at a blank page, wondering how to write the perfect vows, I get it. It’s hard enough finding the right words for a text message, let alone a lifelong commitment in front of your favorite people (or, for some of you, just your partner and the ocean 🌊). But don’t worry—I’ve got you.

I’ve been exactly where you are. When my husband and I were figuring out our own wedding journey, we went through it all—the legal partnership, the elopement, and finally, the full celebration. And if there’s one thing I learned, it’s this: Your wedding isn’t about perfection. It’s about you, your love, and the promises you’re making to each other.

So let’s ditch the pressure and make this simple. Here’s how to craft vows that are real, meaningful, and uniquely yours.

1. Start with Your Love Story

Before you stress about the wording, take a moment to reflect on what got you here in the first place. Your vows should feel like you, not a Hallmark card.

💌 When did you realize you couldn’t imagine life without them?

😂 What’s a little habit they have that always makes you smile?

🌟 What challenges have you faced together that made your love even stronger?

💡 Try this prompt: “I knew I wanted forever with you when…”

That moment? That’s the heart of your vows.

2. Make Real Promises (Not Just Pretty Words)

Your vows are not just about saying “I love you.” They’re about what you’re committing to, day in and day out.

🔹 Serious Promises:

✔️ “I promise to stand by your side, no matter what life throws at us.”

✔️ “I vow to always listen first, even when I think I’m right.”

🔹 Funny (But Still Real) Promises:

✔️ “I promise to always let you steal my fries, even though you said you weren’t hungry.”

✔️ “I vow to never watch the next episode of our show without you (unless you’re taking too long).”

💡 Pro tip: A mix of deep and lighthearted makes for the best vows.

3. Keep It Short & Sweet

Nobody wants a 10-minute monologue, bestie. Aim for under two minutes—long enough to be meaningful, short enough to keep everyone engaged.

✨ Simple Structure That Works:

1️⃣ Start with a memory or story

2️⃣ Say what you love about them

3️⃣ Make real promises

4️⃣ End with a powerful closing line

💡 Example Closing Line:

“Today and always, I choose you.”

4. Add a Personal Touch

The best vows feel like you.

🏳️‍🌈 Include inside jokes, favorite quotes, or pop culture references.

🎶 Reference a song lyric that means something to both of you.

📜 Want to make it official? I offer Notarized Vow Certificates—a beautifully designed keepsake of your promises, signed, sealed, and framed to honor the moment forever.

💡 Bonus Tip: Practice reading your vows out loud before the big day—it helps with nerves and makes them flow naturally.

Why This Matters to Me

The reason I do this work—officiation, notary services, everything—is because I know what it’s like to go through this process. My husband and I had to navigate all the legalities, the emotions, and the logistics of getting married as a queer couple. It wasn’t always easy to find someone who truly understood what we needed—so I became that person for other couples.

Whether you’re planning a grand celebration, an intimate elopement, or just making it legal, your vows are what make it real. And if you need help, I’ve got you.

📩 Let’s make your love story official—reach out to get started!

🔥 Next up: “The Top Mistakes Couples Make When Planning Their Ceremony—And How to Avoid Them!” Stay tuned!