How to Write Your Wedding Vows (Even If You Have No Idea Where to Start)

If you’re staring at a blank page, wondering how to write the perfect vows, I get it. It’s hard enough finding the right words for a text message, let alone a lifelong commitment in front of your favorite people (or, for some of you, just your partner and the ocean 🌊). But don’t worry—I’ve got you.

I’ve been exactly where you are. When my husband and I were figuring out our own wedding journey, we went through it all—the legal partnership, the elopement, and finally, the full celebration. And if there’s one thing I learned, it’s this: Your wedding isn’t about perfection. It’s about you, your love, and the promises you’re making to each other.

So let’s ditch the pressure and make this simple. Here’s how to craft vows that are real, meaningful, and uniquely yours.

1. Start with Your Love Story

Before you stress about the wording, take a moment to reflect on what got you here in the first place. Your vows should feel like you, not a Hallmark card.

💌 When did you realize you couldn’t imagine life without them?

😂 What’s a little habit they have that always makes you smile?

🌟 What challenges have you faced together that made your love even stronger?

💡 Try this prompt: “I knew I wanted forever with you when…”

That moment? That’s the heart of your vows.

2. Make Real Promises (Not Just Pretty Words)

Your vows are not just about saying “I love you.” They’re about what you’re committing to, day in and day out.

🔹 Serious Promises:

✔️ “I promise to stand by your side, no matter what life throws at us.”

✔️ “I vow to always listen first, even when I think I’m right.”

🔹 Funny (But Still Real) Promises:

✔️ “I promise to always let you steal my fries, even though you said you weren’t hungry.”

✔️ “I vow to never watch the next episode of our show without you (unless you’re taking too long).”

💡 Pro tip: A mix of deep and lighthearted makes for the best vows.

3. Keep It Short & Sweet

Nobody wants a 10-minute monologue, bestie. Aim for under two minutes—long enough to be meaningful, short enough to keep everyone engaged.

✨ Simple Structure That Works:

1️⃣ Start with a memory or story

2️⃣ Say what you love about them

3️⃣ Make real promises

4️⃣ End with a powerful closing line

💡 Example Closing Line:

“Today and always, I choose you.”

4. Add a Personal Touch

The best vows feel like you.

🏳️‍🌈 Include inside jokes, favorite quotes, or pop culture references.

🎶 Reference a song lyric that means something to both of you.

📜 Want to make it official? I offer Notarized Vow Certificates—a beautifully designed keepsake of your promises, signed, sealed, and framed to honor the moment forever.

💡 Bonus Tip: Practice reading your vows out loud before the big day—it helps with nerves and makes them flow naturally.

Why This Matters to Me

The reason I do this work—officiation, notary services, everything—is because I know what it’s like to go through this process. My husband and I had to navigate all the legalities, the emotions, and the logistics of getting married as a queer couple. It wasn’t always easy to find someone who truly understood what we needed—so I became that person for other couples.

Whether you’re planning a grand celebration, an intimate elopement, or just making it legal, your vows are what make it real. And if you need help, I’ve got you.

📩 Let’s make your love story official—reach out to get started!

🔥 Next up: “The Top Mistakes Couples Make When Planning Their Ceremony—And How to Avoid Them!” Stay tuned!

5 Unique Ways to Make Your Wedding Ceremony More Personal

Your wedding day should feel like you—not just a script, not just a ceremony, but a moment that reflects your love story. Whether you’re planning a grand wedding, an intimate elopement, or a simple legal ceremony, adding personal touches will make it unforgettable.

Here are five unique ways to make your wedding ceremony feel deeply personal and meaningful:

1. Tell Your Love Story Through Your Vows

Your vows are the heart of your ceremony. Make them personal, specific, and uniquely yours.

Instead of generic promises, try adding:

💌 A memory from when you first fell in love.

😂 A funny or sweet inside joke only your partner will get.

🌟 A promise that reflects your actual daily life together (like making them coffee, always keeping their favorite snacks stocked, or watching their favorite show even if you hate it).

💡 Tip: If writing feels overwhelming, try this formula:

“I knew I loved you when… [memory] I promise to… [commitment] I can’t wait to… [dream for the future].”

2. Incorporate a Meaningful Ceremony Ritual

Beyond vows and rings, a special ritual can symbolize your connection in a way that’s meaningful to you. Some ideas:

🔥 Candle or Fire Ritual – Symbolizing unity.

🌿 Handfasting – A Celtic tradition tying hands with ribbon.

🎶 Song Dedication – Instead of a reading, have a song played or sung that represents your relationship.

📜 Notarized Vow Certificate – This is a special keepsake option I offer to couples who want a framed, official acknowledgment of their vows, sealed and signed to honor the moment forever.

3. Involve Your Loved Ones in Unexpected Ways

You don’t have to walk down an aisle alone or have only the officiant speak. Try:

👩‍❤️‍👩 Family or Friends Giving Readings – Personal letters, poems, or song lyrics read by people you love.

🐶 Including Your Pet – Having them as the “ring bearer” or part of the ceremony in another way.

💡 Guest Participation – Invite guests to write down a short wish or blessing for your marriage, which you can read later.

4. Create a Wedding Ceremony Soundtrack

Music sets the mood. Why not create a soundtrack for your love story?

🎶 Walk down the aisle to a song that means something personal.

🎤 Have live musicians or a DJ to make it more immersive.

✨ Incorporate a song lyric or melody into your vows.

5. Choose a Ceremony Location That Feels Like You

Your wedding setting doesn’t have to be a traditional venue. Consider:

🏞️ A natural setting (mountains, beaches, forests).

🏡 A place from your relationship (where you had your first date or first “I love you”).

🌆 A WeHo rooftop, art gallery, or unique LA venue—especially if you’re planning a destination wedding.

Make It Yours

At the end of the day, your wedding should reflect you and your love story—not traditions that don’t feel right, not pressure from others.

If you need an officiant who can bring your vision to life, I’d love to help.

📩 Contact me here to start planning your perfect ceremony.

And stay tuned—next time, I’ll be sharing How to Write Your Wedding Vows (Even If You Have No Idea Where to Start)!

When Is the Right Time to Get Married? A Journey of Love, Timing, and Trust

Welcome to the Signed by Phill blog! Whether you’re dreaming of a grand wedding, a cozy elopement, or just want to make it official with a simple legal ceremony, I’m here to help make it happen—beautifully and stress-free. But before we dive into tips, planning advice, and all things weddings, I wanted to start by sharing a little bit about my own journey and why officiating has become so important to me.

Our Journey: The Right Time Was Our Time

Like so many couples, my partner and I knew we wanted to get married. We knew our love was strong. But that didn’t mean we had everything figured out. There were still family dynamics to navigate, conversations to have, and expectations to manage. And instead of getting lost in the stress of trying to make everyone happy, we decided to focus on what mattered most—each other.

We started with a domestic partnership, a step that gave us the legal protection we needed while giving us time to grow together. Later, when it truly felt like the right time, we eloped. But what I didn’t expect was just how expensive, complicated, and stressful the process could be.

Between finding the right officiant, making sure everything was legally sound, and trying to craft a ceremony that felt true to us, I realized just how difficult it could be to find someone who understood the unique journey of LGBTQ+ couples—someone who could honor the beauty of love without the pressure of outdated traditions or expectations.

Why I Became a Wedding Officiant

Going through this myself, I knew I could help others have a smoother, more meaningful experience. My background in event planning, entertainment, and large-scale coordination gave me the skills to create unforgettable, intentional moments. And more importantly, as a queer officiant, I wanted to be someone couples could trust—to guide them through this moment without judgment, pressure, or unnecessary stress.

I now officiate weddings, elopements, and legal partnerships because I believe every couple deserves a ceremony that feels like theirs—whether that means a grand celebration or a quiet, intimate moment shared between two souls.

What You’ll Find Here

This blog is here to help couples navigate everything about getting married—from legal logistics and vow writing to creative ceremony ideas and real wedding stories. If you’re wondering:

💍 Should we elope or have a big wedding?

📜 What do we need to make it legal?

💡 How can we make our ceremony feel more personal?

You’re in the right place.

I’d love to be a part of your journey. If you’re ready to start planning your perfect moment, let’s chat.

📩 Contact me here to schedule a consultation.

And stay tuned—next time, I’ll be sharing 5 Unique Ways to Make Your Ceremony More Personal!